Where Do I Start In Safe Spaces In Workplaces?

Before we begin to create Safe Spaces in Workplaces for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons and their loved ones (GLBiT&L), we have to understand the culture. First and foremost, GLBiT&L want to be treated the same as everyone, not "special" but equal. But how do you know what to call a gay person? What is the proper term for the gay employee’s uh, you know, "special friend"?

In today’s world of being so careful about being politically correct, no one wants to say the wrong thing for fear of offending someone. it can be confusing! You are told "queer" has negative connotations, then hear a gay man use the word referring to himself. Sometimes, GLBiT&L persons are reacting to what sociologists call self-fulfilling prophecy, becoming what is expected of them despite negative feedback or connotations. It is reactionary, or may be of shock value, to lash back at society, or perhaps it’s a way for a gay person to protect themselves: "I’ll call myself a queer before you do, so it won’t hurt as much when you say it." Gay men may feel, "call me a sissy? I’ll show you sissy!" and act extremely effeminate, flamboyant, and giddy. A lesbian may feel "since they think I’m a bull dyke, I’ll act like one!" and adopt what we traditionally think of as masculine traits.

Some homosexual women feel most comfortable being referred to as a "lesbian" than as "gay." Others prefer - and use - the label "dyke." It is all part of personality and personal preference, just as some black Americans prefer to be called "African American" and some women hate to be called "young lady."

The word "faggot" originally meant a "loose bundle of sticks tied together." Once upon a time, these bundles of sticks were used to build a bonfire, in which gays (or suspected gays) were burned at the stake. Thus the word "faggot" evolved to be a derogatory term for a gay person.

The pink triangle is a symbol used in the GLBiT culture. When the Nazis took power in the mid - 1930’s, homosexuals were among the groups of "undesirables" to be weeded out and, eventually, exterminated. In the concentration camps, homosexuals (or suspected homosexuals) were forced to wear pink triangle badges on their uniforms, just as Jews wore yellow Stars of David. The pink triangle is now a sign of remembrance to those exterminated, and as an emblem to fight legal and social opposition that still exists today.

The rainbow flag is a symbol of diversity, adopted by the GLBiT&L community as a sign of hope, of freedom, of peace. It calls for everyone --despite their orientation, race, religion, or color -- to stand together in unity.

GLBIT persons prefer the term "sexual orientation." "Sexual preference" implicates sexuality is a preference, when countless studies have shown homosexuality is not a preference, and could be "caused" by multiple factors. "Sexual identity" implies we are identified solely on our sexuality. You would not refer to a coworker as "that heterosexual, Janice;" nor should you say, "that lesbian, Patty." The term "lifestyle" also implicates GLBIT have chosen their path, like someone would chose a career or a house to live in. A ranch is a lifestyle; traveling the world spending your millions is a lifestyle (one we all dream of, no matter who we are with!).

Religious beliefs have been used to express distaste for GLBiT&L persons. There are numerous interpretations as to why and how biblical text condemns homosexuality, just as there are interpretations that religious figureheads embraced or condoned it. Religious beliefs should be well - respected, but no workplace should be used as a pulpit. Just as we should not allow a Christian worker to belittle a Jewish worker, we should not allow religion to be used to express distaste for homosexuals.

GLBiT persons refer to their significant other as "partner." A partner is someone with whom there is a committed relationship, usually long term. A "girlfriend" or boyfriend" is someone you are dating, possibly with the goal of becoming partners. GLBiT persons may commit to each other in a "union" or ‘holy union" (as "marriages" are not legally recognized). Unions may have all the trappings of a wedding: rings, church setting, exchanged vows, traditional dress. They may be informal: a few words exchanged, perhaps friends present. A union should be treated no different than a wedding ceremony.

A homosexual is a person who is emotionally and sexually attracted to the same sex. A bisexual is attracted to both sexes. Transsexuals feel as though, emotionally and psychologically, they are the opposite sex. Some transsexuals have sex changes (preferably called "sexual reassignment") to become the person they feel is true, which is trans gendered Transvestites cross - dress; that is, they use clothing and makeup to transform themselves into the opposite sex. Not all transsexuals are homosexual (or bisexual). Gay men do not "want to be women" and lesbians do not "want to be men." Lesbians are not "man haters;" there are heterosexual women who refer to all men as "pigs." AIDS is not a "gay disease." Currently the highest rate of HIV -positive persons are among heterosexual young people. Never assume all HIV -positive persons are gay, or all gay people have - or will become - HIV -positive. It does not matter who gets the disease; we have to find a cure.

What are the right terms to use? If in doubt, respectfully ask the GLBIT&L coworker. First and foremost, address people as people! A person should not be defined by their sexuality anymore than by what kind of car they drive or what kind of job they have. Mutual respect is the key to dealing with anyone. Refrain from using labels, and certainly from name - calling. Remember: the better people feel about their job, the better productivity, morale, and employee longevity will be. We spend 40 hours or more on the job. Should we not all be able to feel secure and safe there?

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